I had a tough week last week. Feel like I can be honest here and just share that it was not all rainbows and unicorns last week. It was a week that I didn’t fucking care if life handed me lemons I didn’t feel like making lemonade. And while I generally am a positive person I also believe in taking some time to let myself be pissed, sad, grumpy…whatever! Cause when the shit hits it’s not just as simple as putting on a happy face all the time. That is exhausting.
One thing I do find comes through loud and clear when I’m feeling crappy is my intuition. I get some pretty clear messages of what my heart and body want from me. And I noticed that I had the urge to push past it. To just tough it out and keep moving forward despite the messages. Because all I wanted to do was hide in my bed for the week.
This urge to hide got me thinking about ways in which I deal with things when it all goes sideways. I’ve been through tough times before…so what routines helped me through? And what didn’t serve me well? This is how I came up with this little list of ways to deal when the shit hits. I literally just lived this list last week and I have practiced these things many times in the past. I bet if you took a minute to think about you may find you have your own ways as well. So here are my ways to deal when the shit hits.
Go ahead and hide
You read that right. Now I know we all have bills to pay, jobs to attend, kids, dogs, appointments…blah blah blah. If you need to schedule it in. We always make time for things that are important. And if you are craving some time alone to lay in bed and eat ice cream…do it!! I realized when I had that feeling of wanting to hide that pushing it away and pretending it was all ok was way more tiring. But when I took the time to just hide out for a bit it actually helped alleviate the urge. I was giving myself what I needed. Some quiet time in my happy place. I needed to just be sad.
Surrender to the process
Just like following the urge to hide was important to me so was surrendering to the process of my feelings. Feeling sad doesn’t physically feel good. We can feel that ache. It makes us tired. It’s not fun at all. But pretending it’s all fine isn’t useful either. You can’t avoid it or go around the bad feelings if you want them to subside. You have to go through them. I found surrendering to the process my body needed to take to work through them extremely helpful. Yes it hurt. But it was actually easier than avoiding.
To surrender to the process you need to be able to trust yourself. Trust that you will work through it on your own time. And trust that you will come out just fine on the other end. Think of another time you had shit hit the fan. A time when things did no go as planned and left you feeling similar to how you feel now. You came through that. In your own time. So trust that you will come through this as well in your own time. Even if the severity of the situation is different. It’s about thinking of a time when you pulled through.
I have a variety of situations I reflect on when I’m feeling like crap. I like to remember how regardless of the healing time I needed I still pulled through in the end. Trust yourself that you will and allow yourself that time to go through the process.
Pick one thing and stick to it
When feeling like crap I often let go of a lot of my routine stuff. It can all feel like too much at the time. But what I do is pick one or two things from my routine that are non-negotiable. For example I LOVE pizza. And when I’m feeling down I totally emotionally eat. But one of the things I keep constant is my morning smoothie. It’s part of my daily routine and when I’m feeling down regardless of how my morning starts I always make a smoothie. It helps anchor one of my positive routines in while things feel out of sorts. So when my routine eating habits are less routine I still have my one thing that keeps me connected to my healthier habits. I would love to say that I stick to all my healthy routines when happy or sad. But that is just not the case. So I pick at least one to keep me anchored.
Permission Permission Permission
If you have been reading any of my other blog posts or ebook you will know that permission is one of my BIG non negotiables. It can help in so many ways. Giving yourself permission when you are feeling down and out is even more important. I sometimes try and rush through the feeling like crap stuff. Or get annoyed that I am feeling down. Giving myself permission to feel the feelings, to not pass judgment on how these emotions are working their way through alleviates that extra pressure we can unconsciously put on ourselves. Give yourself permission to work through this process in whatever intuitively feels best fo you. No judgments.
My biggest guide through all of my shit times has been my intuition. And while logically I would try to push through or rush things, taking the time to stop and work through the experience intuitively always brings me more closure and peace. So I hope the next time some shit hits for you (which I hope is not anytime soon!) you take a minute to really listen to what your body is telling you. You have an amazing internal compass to guide you! Let it!