I recently got hair extensions. I love them. Love having thicker, longer hair. I’m a happy customer. The type I got is called fusion and so there are small wefts fused to parts of my hair. Which means there is a chance if my hair gets blown by the wind that one of these fusions will become visible momentarily. The back of my head I can’t see (duh!) and so I’m only going on touch that they are well concealed (a.k.a. perfect).
I noticed I kept checking. Running my hand over the back of my head. Asking my friends if they could see them. The answer was always no. And I knew it was no before asking. They were well installed. But I kept checking to make sure one hadn’t become visible because I moved my hair a certain way.
That got tiring fast.
So I stopped and asked myself – who the fuck cares if one becomes visible?? Like seriously…why am I wasting mental space on this?
I needed a Perfection Calibration.
What is a Perfection Calibration you ask?
It’s where you take a moment to bring it all back to center. Where you assess if you are trying to be perfect. Because if you are…it’s time to re-calibrate. You need to re-calibrate to ensure you aren’t measuring yourself against perfection. Because perfection is an unattainable and frankly very boring measurement to compare yourself to.
So I asked myself some questions:
Do I love my extensions? Yes!
Am I trying to pretend that it’s all my hair? Nope!
If someone asked me if I have extensions would I be awkward about telling them I do? Hell no.
So why am I worried that a little fusion will slip out into view once in awhile? Ummm….I was trying to be perfect again.
For the love of beauty!
And all things fabulous…hair, make up, clothes…it’s all supposed to be fun! Not confining. I love doing my make up when I have time. Love getting my hair done. Love trying to find a new colour of lipstick that makes my mouth pop. But I will not use these tools of fun to pretend that I am perfect.
I love being imperfect. I also love playing with beauty supplies. So for me the balance is being ok with a little fusion slipping out once in awhile. Balance is some days glamming it up, and other days barely brushing my hair and loving both looks. I also need to check in when I find myself being concerned about a beauty enhancement. If it’s not fun and light hearted…if there is some sort of obligation (like needing to wear eyeliner to leave the house) then why am I doing it?
I could make this the moment when…
I repeat to you the very important message about female beauty expectations. How every where we turn there are images and ads telling women to attain a very high standard of beauty that takes a LOT of work and often a LOT of money. But you know this.
Empowerment is deciding on your terms your beauty standards.
Check your perfection calibration. For me the standard is fun. If I am having fun and don’t feel an obligation to pretend…for example…that my hair extensions are all real…that I can be my honest self and look fabulous because I feel fabulous…then I’m happy with that balance.
Re-calibrate to ensure you aren’t measuring yourself against perfection.
It’s your rule book. Make it work for you.