I am a strong person. I know you are too. We’ve been through a lot in life. There are lots of challenges, heartbreak, disappointments and tough shit to get through. And some how it has become expected that we tough it out. That taking a personal time out, a break to re-group, is seen as weakness. That the best way to get over or through a tough time is to pull up your big girl pants and move forward.
To that I call bullshit.
It takes strength and courage to say that you need time and space to re-group.
Facing a heartbreak or challenge takes energy, courage and time. That means we have less energy and time for other parts of our lives. It’s like trying to take on another full time job when you are already working full time. Emotional processing has it’s own timeline. Toughing it out doesn’t mean it goes away faster. It actually slows the process down. We end up distracting from our new full time job of processing and fill it with other distractions. Only to turn around and see our desk for emotional processing is piled high with files to go through.
So lets remind ourselves again: It takes strength and courage to say that you need time and space to re-group.
We all have our flags that show us we are overwhelmed or not dealing properly with our balance. For me it’s my home. When things get really messy it’s a big red flag. Because I’ve stopped investing that time and energy into my sanctuary. And my sanctuary is SO important to me. The mess shows me that my energy has been focusing on something else and I don’t have the energy to dust.
What is your red flag for a personal time out?
When my kitchen table gets piled high with random stuff because I don’t have the energy to put it away…I need to call a personal time out. And when I say random stuff I mean really ridiculous stuff that would have only taken a moment to put in it’s proper place. My socks, old receipts, books, several purses, knitting, water jugs and shopping bags. This is an area in my home that I typically keep clear. I love having an open and inviting table. So when it’s not open and inviting it is a clear indicator that I personally am not feeling open and inviting.
What in your life indicates you are heading, or are already at the personal time out point? What small little indicators do you have? It can be such a small or simple everyday practice that stops when you have hit a rough patch. Learn those signs. Remember them and honor them. And then…
Call that personal time out. You are so important. You need to make this time for you. And there is always a way. Cancel that meeting, that appointment, that lunch date. Send the kids over to the grandparents, call the babysitter or ask one of your heart friends or partner for help. Know that in reaching out to the universe for that personal time out it will find it’s way to you in it’s own way.
Because toughing it out is bullshit.
Pushing through doesn’t honor your time of healing. You know when you need that time out. You can feel it. We know our hearts better than anyone else. Trust when your intuition is knocking asking for a moment. And honor those signals. It takes a lot of strength to ask for a personal time out. To admit you are having a tough time and need to re-group. Never forget that you deserve to take some time. As much time as you need to process your stuff.
Don’t get caught up on the reason why.
Ready for some more cursing…cause here it comes. Fuck the reason why. Don’t hold yourself hostage to the feeling that it’s not a good enough reason for a break. Maybe your favorite shirt shrunk. Maybe you lost a close friend. It’s the feeling that matters. If you feel like you need time to heal, re-group, re-charge then you owe it to yourself to find that time in whatever shape or form that looks like for you. Fuck the reason. Follow those red flags that indicate to you when you need a break. You don’t need to apologize for needing that time. We are strong women that get our shit done. And sometimes we need a moment. Take that moment, or moments. And don’t feel like your reason isn’t good enough to honor your inner guidance for a break. Your compass is speaking to you for a reason. Follow it.